Is Drinking a Sport?

I recently started a free trial of Monumental’s new streaming platform, although I have no idea why. Despite never once viewing anything beyond registration, a few weeks later I received a free invitation to a “VIP Cocktails with the Capitals” event. I love free stuff almost as much as I love both cocktails and the Capitals, so I told my pal Julia to keep her Tuesday night free and jumped on that RSVP.

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It was held in an event space behind Union Market down a shady looking alley. We had no idea where we were supposed to go – into this broken down trolley car? Behind these dumpsters? We spotted a couple of tall dudes wearing Capitals hats who looked like they could handle themselves so we followed them to the door.


The event space was in a jazzed up warehouse, which was actually very nice despite our arrival. There were 6 bars set up in the space featuring one of 3 Caps-themed cocktails, which we obviously set to sampling.

Cocktail #1: The Slapshot

  • Jameson whiskey, peach liqueur, cranberry juice, and iced tea.
  • An odd and unenjoyable flavor combo. Bartender only filled it up halfway, which was kind on his part.
  • We took a lap to get a layout of the room, but assumed the event hadn’t started yet because we didn’t see crowds of people gathered around anyone anywhere.

Cocktail #2: Power Play

  • Tequila, peach liqueur, lime juice, ginger beer
  • The only good drink, this was refreshing and light with a good mix of flavors and a heavy pour.
  • “I mean, tequila is my shit”
  • We realized the featured players were Stephenson, Bowey, Walker, and Vrana standing in the shadows behind different bars with a small printout at the front of the bar with their names. There’s a consistent trickle of people chatting with them but never a big crowd. Everyone seemed to be having a nice time chitchatting and taking photos. Can these dudes even drink yet?
  • Does this mean they get to stay in D.C. this year?

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Cocktail #3: Red Line

  • Holy fuck this tasted like cough syrup. Grapefruit juice AND cranberry juice AND cherry liqueur??? With vodka??? We took a sip and then “forgot it” on a table.
  • “We should talk to some players. What do we ask them? The season hasn’t started yet and I haven’t been paying attention this summer because I’ve been trying to heal my heart’s hockey wounds.”
  • Look, I’ll be honest, I am an optimist and I came dressed like I was going to get to talk to Tom Wilson. At this point I’m over these heels.
  • Got geared up to talk to them as they were escorted out, which isn’t surprising considering I am a socially awkward person. But hey, at least we didn’t pay to be there and the alcohol was free!

At This Point We’re Just Drinking: Power Play (the sequel)

  • *thanks god and also Jesus that there’s no artificial cherry flavor in this drink*
  • At this point, Julia is discussing Michael Latta’s “intangibles” with equal parts passion and despair.
  • The DJ plays “Chunky” by Bruno Mars so I start dancing to pretend I’m not mildly disappointed in this whole affair.

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Like a typical Friday night, we finally gimped back to the metro and then home in our heels. The only thing that hurt worse was realizing it’s Tuesday. Oh well – you win some, you lose some.

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